Boys will be boys!

Our occupation is called "Flight Crew", we call ourselves "pilots", we joke ourselves as "flyboys", and we do have our "ranks": "junior first officer, first officer, senior first officer, captain." No matter what our job is called and what rank we have, sometimes we're just boys being boys.

We work with girls, some young, some old, most are attractive for whatever age they are, and yes, they know how to look good no matter what. We love being around them, some of us do try and get too far with them, but for almost all of us, sometimes we look elsewhere.

Some people don't understand why. Some think we're just perverts outside our job. Sometimes, we like looking at something else. Apart from the flight attendants, we get LOTS of passengers, and there's bound to be a pretty one on a full flight.

When not late, and the weather's simple and the aircraft load is simple, we can rest while the passengers are boarding. There's one thing we like from airports that don't have airbridges, that is we can look at who's boarding our plane. On days flying with younger colleagues, we enjoy watching the passengers board from our cockpit windows and make comments on the passengers, and who can pick out the pretty girl first. It's always best when you have a fun cabin crew set aswell who understand us.

Today, our F/A 1 is a mother of two children, in her late thirties, and is an absolutely charming lady, or girl (I can't decide). We are good friends, I knew her from before we ended up in the same airline, and the first officers absolutely adore her. It's an easy day so she would be in the cockpit a lot and chat with us (did I mention the good coffee?). Just after we landed she was in the flight deck joining the cloud of smoke. She was talking about young good looking female passengers, she was trying to get the first officer to cheer up because he had just broken up with his girlfriend. We decided that if there were any pretty girls boarding the flight, we'd invite her to the flight deck during cruise. It's a nice way to break the repetitiveness of our job, without breaking the rules.

Boarding time came and we were on the lookout. Our F/A 1 was on her post, by the door to greet the passengers. The usual sorts of passengers were there. The family with 4 kids trying to carry 6 large bags into the cabin with the parents struggling to keep the kids within reach. The endless numbers of businessmen, or the old grandad on his first ever flight. An angel caught our eyes, the first officer spotted him first. She was tall, walks as if she was hovering above the ground, tight-ish clothes, but doesn't look too cheap.

"Whaddya think?" I asked my friend.
"Ooh, that's do-able!"

I kept looking as she was walking up the stairs until I could see no more, then I asked my friend again.

"You sure?"
"Yes please!"

I waited for a moment and then flipped the fasten seat belt sign on and off quickly. Twenty seconds later, the F/A 1 went into the flight deck.

"The girl with the tight pink top?"
The first officer nodded.
"She's on 5D, do you want me to invite her in after take off?"
I asked my friend, "Whose leg is it now? Yours or mine?"
"Mine."
"Bring her here after take off," I told the F/A 1.

After we took off and not long after the seat belt signs were switched off, there was a knock on the cockpit door. The F/A 1 brought her in, and we welcomed the passenger. The F/A 1 then brought us coffee and tea. It was going to be a 2 hour flight, at least we got a guest to keep us entertained.

She turned out to be a student who was flying to Jakarta to attend an interview to become a flight attendant at our airline. This was only her 3rd flight she has ever taken in her life. She was quite chatty to the first officer, I kept quiet most of the time. My friend needs a distraction from heartbreak. Towards the end of the flight, the first officer asked if she should go back to her seat or not. I asked her if she got her interview invitation letter in her seat she should show me and she'd get a jumpseat landing. She's a nice enough girl and I thought it would be good that she should know what goes on in front so she could talk a bit more in her interview.

At the end of the flight, I wrote a comment on her letter and signed it. 1 happy passenger, a happy future crew member, but most importantly for that flight, 1 happy co-pilot!

Women on the flight deck

Indonesia have only a handful of female pilots. To me, it makes little difference, as long as a pilot does his or her duties well, who cares about the gender. The company share that sentiment, the regulators seem to have little problem with it, the passengers? That's a different story.

I love to stretch my legs, as long as it's more than an hour's flight time, show the passengers that yes, there are humans flying the aircraft, and of course, talking to the girls at the back. However, sometimes it's counter productive. Spiteful passengers love to complain at anything, and seeing a pilot walking around the cabin can result in written complaints about pilots not doing their jobs and are walking around while flying. Sometimes a passenger waiting for the toilet would ask me if it's OK for one pilot to leave the flight deck, sometimes passengers try and lecture me about work discipline. Hello, I don't want a cramped leg on approach nor do I want to belly flop the landing because my bladder's about to burst!

When flying with female pilots, it's a different level of passenger comments, especially if before the flight, the female first officer does a late walk around check, and the passengers boarding sees her.

"Is she capable of flying?"
"Captain, you should go back to the cockpit, that woman might screw the flight up while you're out!"
"Is she pretty?"

So it's OK for the grumpy old men when the country has a female president or when a female surgeon is about to perform a surgery on their scrotum, but it's not OK for a female to fly an aircraft?

Some old pilots don't like them though, and sometimes I don't like it, but it's not because they're female, it's because they won't let us smoke in the cockpit! The day seems to go on forever when she turns and say, "Captain, please don't smoke."

*Yes, we're still allowed to smoke in the cockpit. Boeing and Airbus still make planes with ashtrays in the cockpit!

"Have you seen the news lately sir?" Solo Airport, 2006

When Jogja had an earthquake last year, I had the pleasure of flying into nearby Solo the day after the earthquake. It was a nice morning with good weather forecasts, and we were to do 4 legs that day. Before departure, we had a slight delay trying to confirm whether there would be a parking spot for us on arrival. After a "yes", we were on our way.

The route took us over the north coast of Java, and we would descend shortly before reaching the coastal city of Semarang. It was the co-pilot's flying leg, so I was doing the radios and calculations to confirm what our FMC predicts will be our fuel on landing, from there we calculate the expected landing weight, and therefore our planned approach speed. As I was listening to the first officer's approach brief, Jakarta Center called us over the radio, telling us there would be a short delay of around 15 minutes as Solo had run out of parking spots. All the flights to Jogja have been diverted to Solo because the runway at Jogja needed repairs.

We acknowledged the delay and informed them that it would be no problem, we carried extra fuel due to the possibility of the delay. We descended a bit late as we expected to be holding for a while over Solo. There was an a Lion MD-80 infront of us, and Adam Air 737-200 behind. They had descended as normal, and we were a bit higher. I suggested to my friend that we would make sure we hold our position in sequence. The TCAS showed us where the other two aircraft are, and I would watch what the Adam jet is doing, the last thing I want is him descending fast below us and force us to loose our position, which if the ramp is as full as the ATC says, it could mean a 30 - 40 minute delay instead of 15 minutes holding above. As he tried to sneak in from below, I suggested my friend to speed up and descend just a tad faster.

The last waypoint before entering the Solo terminal area is PURWO, I told him "reach PURWO as close as we can to the Lion in front." As we approach PURWO, I saw the MD80 make the right turn south towards Solo, and we'd enter the Jogja Military Control Zone, with a narrow corridor for civilian flights. As we reached PURWO, we hear 1 jet depart Solo from runway 08 and was told to make a direct left turn to PURWO, and the MD80 was told to continue with the ILS approach procedure for runway 26. As we descended below 10,000ft and called Jogja Approach, we were told to make a slight right turn for spacing with the departing traffic, and so did the Adam 737. We were soon told to proceed to SLO VOR and commence holding, and then the Adam Air 737 was told the same, but to hold 1000ft above us.

I checked the fuel, to determine how long we can hold before we had to divert, and we can take 40 minutes of holding. I asked Approach and they informed me that it was going to be another 30 minutes. Great, 10 minutes cushion. As we made the turn inbound into the VOR in the pattern, I saw the 737-200 above just turning to the outbound track. Soon, another aircraft joined the pattern. The first officer can see the airport from his right seat, and he said it was full.

The purser came into the cockpit and asked how long the delay was going to be, as several passengers have been asking why we're flying in circles. Oh damn, I forgot to make an announcement, so I made it.

15 minutes into the hold, I heard 2 aircraft started up to fly back to Jakarta. OK, won't be long now. We recalculated our weight and landing speeds, not much change, but it's better that way. On the next inbound, 1 entered the runway and another was holding short of the runway. Then we were told to make the ILS approach after the next inbound leg of the hold. I made a short announcement that we would land shortly.

We landed normally and our landing roll was short, as I took control of the airplane, the tower told us to take the next exit to the right onto the northern apron, where the unfinished terminal was. As we turned, I saw that the ramp was full, but we found the empty spot waiting for us, and another next to it. One aircraft from the main terminal apron entered the runway and the Adam Air 737 had to wait.

After parking and shutting down, the doors were opened and I saw 1 staircase being pulled from another aircraft and manhandled towards us. The bus was waiting to take the passengers to the terminal, but it wasn't the airport bus (run by the air force), it was a city bus. I guess due to all the diversion into Solo, they'd need all the buses available. As we completed the post shut down checks and filled in the necessary forms, I looked out and saw that the passengers were waiting below, and some were leaving the bus. Hey, this is strange.

After finishing, the passengers were still there on the tarmac and no buses? I told the first officer that I would be doing the walkaround check. As I opened the cockpit door, the aircraft was still half full, and one of the cabin crew were trying to calm several passengers. The purser told me that there was no bus to take the passengers to the terminal. Several passengers demanded that I get them a bus. I walked down the stairs to the apron and several more passengers complained about no buses, and that only 1 staircase was used instead of the normal 2. As I assured several passengers waiting on the tarmac that the bus would be on the way, the Adam Air 737 that landed after us had buses waiting for them, albeit with no stairs. Something's not right, but I decided to do the walkaround first and if the bus isn't here by the time I finished, it was time to call the station manager.

1 passenger followed me as I walked to the right hand side of the aircraft, he called me, so I attended to him.
"What kind of show are you running around here? You call yourself an airline?"
"Excuse me sir, what do you mean?"
"We've been waiting down here for 20 minutes! What kind of an airline are you?"
"Sir, I'm sure a bus will be here as soon as it is available."
"That's not acceptable! I'm going to report this to your management, and report you and your crew as well!"
I don't have time for people like this. I rolled my sleeves up in the morning sun.
"Sir, a bus WILL BE ON ITS WAY SHORTLY" and I walked off continuing with the walkaround. I saw one of the station staff and called him over and asked why the passengers have to wait.

The ground staff told me that it's been like this since all the Jogja flights diverted here and also the extra flights due to the earthquake. The station manager arranged with the Adam station manager to borrow the buses they hired, and it was waiting for us, but then before the first bus was full, they cancelled the deal and the buses had to wait for the Adam Air that had just come in.

"But they have no stairs!"
"I know Capt, but we couldn't force them."

As I completed the walkaround, the rude passenger approached me again.
"See, this is unacceptable! You guys are a lousy airline! You can't even tell the airport to get a bus to take us to the terminal!"

Maybe my patience had disappeared temporarily, but I thought that guy needed a good telling off.
"Sir, do you know where we are? Do you know what happened yesterday? Did you read the news?"
"Yes, so what?"
"Look around sir! Have you seen Solo this busy? Do you know what all the flights to Jogja has been told to land here instead? Do you know that the airport cannot just take 10 buses today for you and send them back tomorrow? Do you know this region is in an emergency situation?"
I noticed a few passengers were looking at me.
"Sir, feel free to report to whoever you want! But for God's sake realize the situation!"

I went back to the cockpit and explained the situation to passengers who are still inside. At least they understood the situation. I myself am not happy about the delay. Not long afterwards, the normal airport buses came along and took the passengers to the terminal. As soon as the airplane was empty, we started boarding as the airport wants us to leave as soon as we can to free up the parking slots.

As we finished boarding and the pax count was completed, a groundstaff came into the flight deck and told us they had no towtruck! Oh no! More delays! Then more bad news, they needed the staircase elsewhere, so we had to close the door but wait. I pulled out my mobile phone and called Ops in Jakarta to explain the situation, they also gave me the Solo station manager's number.

I called the station manager and he was very apologetic. He said it would be at least 10 minutes before the tow truck and tow bar MAY be available. I closed the conversation and shrugged my shoulders and told the first officer of the extra delay, then my phone rang, it was the station manager, apparently he had some good news. He said he was able to "borrow" Adam Air's tow bar and a tow truck.

"What do you mean "borrow"?"
"Well, we share the tow truck, they got their own tow bar, so I told the truck driver to push you first!"
"OK, how much did you give him for the towbar?"
"50,000" (US$5.5)

2 minutes later the towbar was hooked and we were cleared for the push and start. We were 1 hour 30 minutes late, but we were on our way. I told the ground engineer to thank the station manager for his efforts and told him to let the tow bar to another aircraft before giving it back to Adam.

"Don't worry Capt, they got a problem that will need about another hour to fix."

It was my leg to fly, we chased our schedule in the air. We cut 10-15 minutes off that leg by asking for highspeed below 10,000ft, flying on the speed limit throughout until the final approach. By the end of the 4 flights, we were down 30 minute delay. Not a bad catch up, if you know what you're doing!

Catching up with delays require good teamwork from the cockpit crew, the cabin crew, and the ground staff, plus some persuasion with the ATC. We could catch up a few more minutes that day, but it would risk us ending up with an incident or even an accident.

Cellphones above 30,000ft

Another day and another strange pax.
On one flight from Pekanbaru back to Jakarta two weeks back, we heard a cellphone interference on the radio. Nothing major, didn't make our plane fall out of the sky, but it was damn annoying, especially when ATC noticed it.

One of the junior gals came into the flight deck saying that a pax was sitting on their jumpseat at the rear galley and insisted on chatting her and the F/A 2 up. No engineers were on board so no "male crew" to tell the pax off.

As I had to take a leak, I decided to intervene. Taking a leak at the rear toilet next to the galley did the trick. I talked to one of the girls there about cellphone interference. The guy heard it and he quickly disappeared back into his seat and most likely switched his phone off, coz we never heard it again for the rest of the flight.

Back in the crew room in Jakarta, I was chatting with the F/A 2 and F/A 4 while waiting for the car to take us back home. The F/A 2 said she got the guy's name card and wondered what we should do with it. Should we put it up on the crew board and say "Desperate guy seeks F/A for wife" or should we just burn it. We normally put up a few of those cards, but as part of the joke, the F/A receiving the card should also put her name on it as the poster. Since she already had one up there, we decided to just burn the card.